An Everlasting Paw Print

As I search amid my thoughts, dig through the endless piles memories, I realize that most of the reminiscences that stick with us during our journey throughout life are those of either extreme pleasure...or extreme pain. Memories filled with either laughter and smiles or tears and heartache.

A memory that I remember more vividly than I'd like took place last summer. I'll never forget the day I lost my dog. Beauty wasn't just a pet. She was truly my best friend. She never let me down, never lied to me, never made me feel somehow inadequate...she'd just look at me with her big brown eyes when others did do these things to me; and somehow I felt better, like on some strange level she understood me.

It's crazy to think it's been over a year that she's been gone. I remember waking up that beautiful summer morning to the sun peaking through my blinds and the sound of birds singing outside my window. I wasn't as groggy as I usually was in the mornings. After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower I headed downstairs. Upon entering the kitchen I heard sobs. It was my mom. Acting on instinct I embraced her, not knowing what was wrong. After a few moments she told me Beauty wasn't well. Beauty was an old girl at this point, almost 13 years of age. When I went to see her in the living room, she was laying in her favorite spot in the corner of the room. I could tell something was wrong. I pet her. It was when the tail she had shook for 12 years didn't budge that my morbid reality set in.

For the last few months Beauty had been having hip problems, a common issue among Labrador Retrievers. It often took her minutes to stand up, and when she had successfully stood on all four paws, she frequently stumbled and fell. She also often get sick. We did everything imaginable to help her, but nothing seemed to work for long.

As I gazed into her eyes, big and sad looking, I couldn't help but cry. Sobbing uncontrollably, I rested my face on her belly, as if I could use my own brainpower to will her well again. But it was useless, and at that moment, so was I.

A few minutes later my dad was home. My mom had called him and told him about the situation. We knew she needed to see a vet immediately. I recall my father trying to help Beauty up. It truly was a haunting sight to witness. It was as if she just couldn't do it...she was just too frail. When my dad finally got her to stand, he supported her weight, nearly carrying her, all the way out to the car. I sat in the backseat with her, her head propped up on my leg. I remember seeing those eyes once again looking up at me as I caressed her belly. My family is far from religious, and apart from a prayer every couple of nights before I go to sleep, hardly do I ever call upon a higher power for help. But at this moment, the only thing I could think to do was pray. And I did.

When we reached the vet, a short journey which seemed to last an eternity, my parents left the car and ventured into the small building. I just waited, Beauty at my side...the place she had been all my life. I held her close and told her I loved her, and that whatever happened, I always would.

Five or so minutes later, my parents came back to the car and told me we needed to get her inside to be examined. After my father and a few veterinary assistants feverishly carried her inside, we waited in the main office while she got looked at. And I thought the car ride had seemed long.

Twenty minutes later the vet returned. With her, some paperwork and the worst news that could have come to being, my greatest fear. Beauty was in immense pain. She wasn't functioning properly. Age had finally caught up to her...

Beauty needed to be put to sleep.

Words cannot express the thoughts that raced though my mind at that moment. I remember her as a puppy, wild and hyper. I can see the vibrancy of her golden fur, feel the sliminess of her wet tongue on my face. Then I begin to question myself. Did I pet her enough? Is the vet serious? Why didn't I take her on more walks? Did she have a happy life? Did she know we all loved her? The vet can't be serious...

But she was. She asked if I wanted to be with Beauty in her final moments. After a few seconds, I finally comprehended the question. I told her yes. When I entered the tiny room next door, I saw Beauty. I rushed to her side and threw my arms around her. I kissed her forehead. My heart hurt. I tried not to pay attention to what the vet was doing and focus all my being on Beauty. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I told her one last time how much I loved her. I felt her breathing slow, until finally, it stopped. And at that moment, my puppy, my best friend, was gone from me.

I'll never forget her, or that memory either. It taught about the frailty of life, how nothing or no one should be taken for granted. Although Beauty is gone from me, I know she's in a world far more beautiful than my own. I also know that one day in the future I will pet her again. But as for right now, Beauty will always be my best friend, and the paw print she left on my life, my heart, is one that will last forever.